Parenting is Messed Up

The other day I was sitting in the living room while Heather was playing. She’s got this thing now where she just falls down on purpose. She’ll be standing there, saying something or playing with a doll or whatever, and then just plop!, she’s down. She’ll lie there laughing while Nic and I are freaking out because the sound of what happened actually hurts our knees and elbows, you know?

Anyway, she was just there goofing around, flopping and freaking me out, and I said, “Hey, stop… um… falling!” What a weird thing to ask your kid to stop doing. It drives Nic bonkers, because all day long she’ll be doing whatever she’s doing around the house only to hear a loud bang in the other room, which sounds precisely like your kid falling ten stories into a pile of pots and pans and knives and the corners of coffee tables and fireplace bricks, and Nic will go running into the room only to find Heather laughing with Sam piled on her like a wrestler going for the three count, five count if she’s King Kong Bundy.

Holler if you hear me, wrestling fans.

So Heather settles down after I ask her to chill out. She hops up on to the couch and says, “Dad, can dreams come true?”

I said, “Of course dreams can come true! Anything you dream, you can have. It just takes will and determina-”

“Because I dreamed of a rainbow unicorn. Think that can come true?”

“Um… yep.”

Booyeah – https://www.amazon.com/Fun-Express-Inflatable-Rainbow-Unicorn/dp/B01N7BTLCI

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