In a continuing effort toward ergonomics I started wondering if I should buy computer glasses. For those who don’t know, they’re glasses that gamers wear to block the blue rays from computer screens that hurt our eyes. After all, I’ve been sitting in front of a computer for work or hobby for oh, I don’t know, twenty-one years in a row.

The catalyst for this way of thinking actually did come from a video game. Every now and then I need a break from writing and reading, which have become more job-like than recreational, and I’ll get a PlayStation game to blow off some time doing something mindless. I got God of War when it came out and decided to give a try.

Only I couldn’t read the menu screen.


So instead of just getting computer glasses I thought I’d have my lifetime of 20/20 vision checked just to verify that my wonderfully perfect eyes are still wonderfully perfect.

Yep. Nope.

You know that little vision device they make you look through at the Secretary of State? (DMV for non-Michiganders.) When I first arrived they had me look through that sort of thing. The woman helping me said, “Can you read the letters on the bottom line?”

Um … oh holy crap. No?

I honestly thought there was something wrong with the machine. I took my eyes away from the thing and looked at her. I didn’t say anything, but my face was all, “Is this thing broken?”


I couldn’t read any of those letters. They were just blurry smudges.

On to the real exam. We slammed through a bunch of lenses and I said better, worse, or same for dozens of different options. I was still holding out hope that the optometrist would end the exam and say, “What are you doing here, silly? Your eyes are amazingly perfect!”

But at the end she took away the device and showed me some letters on the wall. She said, “That’s 20/15. How does it look?”

Blurry as f**k.

She changed it and said, “That’s 20/20. How about that?”

Oh God! Oh no! It’s blurry as f*****************k!

So that sucked.

She put the device back in front of my eyes and said, “How about now?”

Crystal clear, yo.

So I’ll be wearing glasses now. I got some lenses with anti-glare and blue-blocking for the computer screen. Hopefully it will reduce strain and help with the mild headaches I get on occasion after a long day.

I guess deep down I knew this would happen one day, and truth told I’m not that bummed out. I’m basing my aversion to glasses on my high school and college friends who had to wear them and hated doing so. But if I think back we were always off doing something crazy or adventurous. I’m guessing it’s a little easier to hate wearing glasses when you’re ten beers deep and floating down a river in a canoe, you know? It’s probably easier to hate them when at any minute you could get tackled and pink-bellied by your insane friends. Maybe it won’t be so bad when I’m just sitting at a computer looking very studious and astounded by the clarity of my new vision.

I guess we’re gonna find out.

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